Irreplaceable DISCONTINUED!
by silly-little-rabbit
Summary: Lavi loses himself over the murder of his parents. Will Allen be able to save his friend from himself? Rated T for violence and swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Title sucks, but really, I couldn't think of anything.** **Disclaimer: I don not own D. Gray-man** I fumbled with the blade that I held in my hand. It's metal cold as I rubbed it with my index finger. I was going to do it. I was going to kill myself. Even though I want to say one single last goodbye to Allen, I couldn't bare the thought of hearing him cry. To make him cry was the last thing I wanted to remember. I placed the sharp blade against my left wrist and took in a deep breath. I slid it across in one swift movement. I watched the blood flow like a river, spilling out from the cut this was it, I was going to die. * * * * * * * - Two weeks before - "Lavi-chan!" I heard Allen yell my name as I saw him running towards me. He jumped on me embracing me into a bear hug. "Allen I c-can't breathe!" I choked out to the boy. He let go as his cheeks flushed bright red from embarrassment. I laughed which made his lips turn up into a smile. Summer break had started today, and we were ready to kick back and have fun! We gathered our books and headed towards out the door. "So Lavi what are you and your parents doing this summer?" Allen asked as we walked to my house. "Were going up to visit some relatives in Hawaii" as I said Hawaii I moved my hips like a hula dancer causing Allen and I to burst out in laughter. We slowly got closer to my house. We entered inside and took off our shoes. "Hey mom dad I'm home!" I called out, I waited, but there was no answer. We walked though the house as I figured that no one was home. "Hey Lavi I'll be right back I gotta go use the washroom" Allen said I nodded and went off into the bathroom. All of a sudden I heard a scream coming from the bathroom, I ran towards it and stopped at the door in shock. My mother and father, covered in blood laying lifelessly on the tiled floor. I feel to my knees in horror as I cried out. Tears streaming down my face, as Allen walked over and bent down and hugged me. What started out as a great day, turned into a beginning of a terrible new story. **A/N – Yea, I know it sucks, but I kinda like it, and plus it's a very short Chapter but it will get better,and longer, trust me so R&R =3 **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Again I'm back =), so here it the second chapter, please enjoy **

**Disclaimer- I do not own D. Gray-man.**

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Hours later, the house was flooded with police, and investigators. A few paramedics came and left with two unmovable body bags. I sat on the couch with Allen comforting arm around my shoulders. One of the investigators was asking question to us, but I wasn't listening. Allen was talking for me, he knew what I wanted to say, and he kept his arm around me, holding me at his side. He spoke calmly with the man, until he left, with all the police, and investigators. At this moment I was shaking violently in Allen's arms.

"Lavi it'll be alright" He spoke calmly as he rubbed my arm, trying to stop the shaking. "I-it's n-not okay a-Allen" I manged to speak though sobs. Tears streaming down my face and landing on his lap. He hugged tighter and spoke softly into my ear.

"Lavi, the investigator said that there going to start immediately on tracking down the person who did this. Your welcome to come and stay at my house with Mana". His voice was shaking as he spoke. Wiping away the tears the trickled down my cheeks I looked up at him. I notice he was also crying. He always could feel the pain I was in, which it pained me to see him cry. I hated it.

"I'll be fine here Allen, I don't want to burden you and Mana, and stop crying, you know I hate seeing you cry". I brushed away his tear and manged to smile a very small smile. He returned with a smile as well. I hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go of the warmth of him holding onto me.

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"Are you sure you'll be alright alone?" Allen asked as he was leaving to go home. It was late and he had school tomorrow. "Allen I'll be fine, go home and go to sleep". I patted his head and he turned around to go out the door, but before it closed he turned around and smiled a small smile. He left, leaving me in my house. No. It wasn't a home anymore. It will never be my home ever again. I walked into my bedroom and laid down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and a picture of my parents flashed into my mind. It broke my heart at the thought of them being killed by someone. I sat up and put my head in my hands.

"I just don't know what to do!" I yelled at myself slamming my fist into the wall beside my bed. I looked at my knuckles, which a few had split open from force. A small amount of blood trickled out. I watched memorized as a tiny river flooded out. I got up and walked towards the bathroom, but I stopped at the doorway, and turned to walk towards the kitchen. I turned on the tap and watched the blood turn the water a clear pink as it flowed down the drain. I splashed some water on my face rubbing my eyes, as they where sore from crying so much.

I wiped my face with the dish towel and I noticed the block of knives that stood beside the sink. I reached out to touch one but dropped my hand. No. Not now. I can't lose it now. The knives seemed to pull me in, calling my name.

That was it.

I knew what I was going to do, I was going to kill myself. _No, not now, I have to at least see Allen one more time before I die. _I reminded myself turning around walking back towards my room. Right now, I just have to be okay, or act okay. I can't let Allen know, I can never tell him. He wouldn't understand, and it would make him cry. The one thing I hated the most was that. To make that sweet white-haired boy cry, was like a dagger to my heart. Yes, I love him, more than anything, but he can do better than me. I know he has the same feelings for me, I can read him like a book. I know for sure, that he has no idea that I do return those same feelings. It will be hard on him, but it's something I must do.

I flopped back on top my bed as I looked at the photo that sat on my dresser. It was a picture of when I was little, I was on top of my dad's shoulders, and holding on my mother's hand. We all had huge, big, goofy, smiles painted across our faces. I felt tears rolling down my face as I grabbed the photo. I hugged it as more tears spilled out of my eyes. I closed my eyes, still clinging onto the photo, and slowly feel asleep. _Good-night mom, and dad. _I thought as I drifted off into sleep.

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'Mom dad! Get out of there!" I yelled at them as a stranger came closer and closer towards them. "PLEASE MOVE!" I scream at the top of my lungs as tears fell from my eyes. They couldn't hear me. The man walked closer and closer towards them until he had reached my mother. He stabbed the blade into left breast which priced her heart. She fell to the ground as I screamed out in horror. The man wiped the knife on his shirt and the stabbed my father in the heart the same way as he had with my mother. I cried tears streaming down my face as the man turned around to face me. I couldn't see his face but I could see his golden eyes glimmering in the dark. He started running towards me and I screamed.

Sweated trickled down my face as I woke up screaming and shaking violently. Tears started falling down my face when I noticed someone standing beside my bed. I turned my head to face who it was. It was Allen, dressed in his school uniform and school bag in his hand. He had a painful look on his face. He must have seen me having my nightmare.

"Hey Allen, what's up?" I said with a small smile. He blinked and then smiled, not a very cheerful smile. "I was on my way to school, and I wanted to drop by to see how you where doing", He said in a low tone. I looked at him, it hurt so much to see him sad because of me. I jumped out of bed and I placed the photo and walked over towards the boy. I wrapped my arms around him and embraced him in a hug. He seemed stiff, but the relaxed into the hug, wrapping his arms tightly around my body. "Can't you stay with me today?" I asked quietly, I really didn't want to be alone in this house. I wanted to be with him as much as I could before...

"I'll call Mana, and tell him where I am, and to tell him to call the school" Allen said taking out his phone and he walked into the hallway. I smiled a bit, glad that he was staying. A few minutes later he walked into the room and stood beside me. "I told Mana that I was going to be here today and told him to call the school and tell them why I'm not there" Allen said.

"So, Lavi what do you want to do?" He asked. I looked down to see that I was still in my boxers and muscle shirt. I looked up to see that he had noticed that too. His face and turned a bright pink.

"Umm... well maybe you should get dressed first" Allen said as he walked out of the room. I couldn't help but laugh. _He must really like me._ I thought as I grabbed a pair of jeans, and a green T-shirt. I grabbed my favourite orange scarf and walked out the door. I walked into the living-room and sat on the couch beside Allen. He had taken off his school jacket and he still had a faint blush tinted on his face. "Hey Lavi," He said breaking me out of my train of thought. "Do you want to walk down to the store and get some food" Allen had asked. "Sure" I replied to him getting off the couch and we walked over towards the door, put on our shoes and walked out of the door.

We walked into the local super-store and walked towards the frozen food isle. Allen grabbed a frozen all meat pizza, and I grabbed a frozen garlic fingers. We walked towards the beverage isle and grabbed a bottle of coke-cola. As we walked down the check out isle I stopped. I looked in shock as I stared in horror.

"Lavi what's wrong?" Allen asked as I stood there and stared in horror.

"Excuse me, are you going to pay for that?" The man asked looking at me with his deep golden eyes.

Golden eyes. I dropped the food and ran out of the store.

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**A/N- So, what did you guys think? As I promised, it's a lot longer and a lot better than the first chapter. So R&R and chapter three will be here soon =3.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – Yay! Chapter 3 is up!! How excited are ya?...haha anyways, onward to the story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man.**

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After that Allen had found me on the laying on the couch curled up in a ball. He sat at the end by my feet, trying to make me sit up. I did and then I laid my head on his lap. He stroked my hair trying to calm me down. "Lavi, what happened back there? It seemed that man at the checkout frightened you" Allen spoke calmly and quietly into my ear.

I buried my face into his stomach, not wanting to tell him. "Lavi it's alright, you can tell me" He cooed, but this made me angry. I sat up and glared at him. "No Allen I can't tell you!" I yelled at the boy who flinched at the angry tone in my voice. I stood up with my hands balled up into fists, shaking violently. "You'll never understand what I'm going though!" Tears streaming down my face.

"Lavi I-" he was cut off by me yelling more. "I don't want to hear it! Ever since this happened you have been acting differently around me!I can't take it!" I ran towards my room and slammed the door, locking it after. "Lavi!" Allen yelled running towards my door. He started pounding on it as hard as he could. I closed my eyes, and covered my ears at the sound of him yelling.

"GO AWAY!" I screamed, "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" The pounding stopped and I heard faint, little foot steps walking away. I uncovered my ears and opened my eyes as I heard the front door slam shut. My heart sank. _I am such a idiot! _I thought to myself. I can't take this anymore. I got off my bed and unlocked my door and went into the kitchen.

I stared at the knives as they glimmered in the light. I choose one and set it on the counter. I walked towards the back door which lead into the garage. I searched though the room until I found it. A bottle of gasoline. I grabbed it and ran back inside. I unscrewed the cap as the smell floated into the air. I took a deep breath and poured in all over the living-room floor and trailed it around into the kitchen. I grabbed the knife and trailed more of the gasoline into my room, my parent's room, and last into the bathroom. I poured the remaining gasoline onto the floor and threw the container to the side.

I grabbed the packet of matches we kept under the sink of when the power went out. I sat in the bathtub as I looked around. The blue walls not as calming as they used to be when I was small I took in a deep breath as I picked up the knife and stared at it.

I fumbled with the blade that I held in my hand. It's metal cold as I rubbed it with my index finger. I was going to do it. I was going to kill myself. Even though I want to say one single last goodbye to Allen, I couldn't. I placed the sharp blade against my left wrist and took in a deep breath. I slid it across in one swift movement. I watched the blood flow like a river, spilling out from the cut this was it, I was going to die. My vision blurred and became unfocused as I picked up the matches. My hands shaking as the blood flowed running down my arm staining my shirt. I picked out one match and I lit it one fire. The fire captivated me as I stared at it flickering as I breathed in and out heavily. I lifted my arm and threw the match towards the puddle of gasoline one the tiled floor. It burst up into flames and it trailed down the hall way, meeting in the other rooms. I watched slowly as the things around me slowly burn to ashes. My breathing became heavier as the smoke came though the door way. The blood still flowing from my wrist, slowly turning my cheeks pale in colour. My eyes became move heavy. I just wanted to sleep. I dropped the knife from the side of the tub as the handle soon melted away. I sunk deeper into the tub and laid back. I faintly heard someone shouting in the back ground, but I didn't think of it for much longer. "Good-bye Allen" I said quietly as I closed my eyes drifting into a deep sleep. * * * * * **A/N- I ended at a cliff hanger... and I hope you enjoyed it. R&R and onward to Chapter 4 !**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- This chapter is from Allen's prospective so just to let you know. Anyways, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer...Is this really necessary? I do not own D. Gray-man.**

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I starting running down the road but then stopped. Angry tears started falling down my cheeks. I wasn't angry at Lavi, I was angry at myself. I shouldn't have pushed him to tell me what had happened. The air around me started to feel a lot heavier than it did a few minutes ago. It was odd. I wiped the tears from my eyes and then I smelled it. It was smoke. All of a sudden I heard the siren of a firetruck. It zoomed pass me and I turned around to see what was on fire. My mouth dropped open as I saw it. Lavi's house, was on fire.

In an instant I started running towards his house. I got closer and closer, until I reached the house. I stopped panting, I tried to get past the barrage but one of the firemen stepped in the way.

"You can't go in there" the man said. I tried to move pass him but he picked me up and tried to move me away from the area. "Stop! My friend's in there! Please! LET ME GO!" I yelled at the man punching him in the face. He dropped me and I manged to run right past him and into the burning house. The house was filled with smoke and flames. I covered my mouth with my hand as I squinted thought the smoke. I didn't see him in the living-room. I coughed as I was breathing in the toxic fumes. I dodged a few flames and manged to get into the hallway, running full speed down and into his room. Nothing. I looked in his parents room, but still nothing.

The bathroom.

The doorway was blocked but huge roaring flames. But I saw him, he was in there. I knew it. I jumped over the flames as high as I could, but the end of my jacket had caught on fire, I screamed trying to tear it off of my body "Lavi Wake up!" I yelled at him and as I got closer. I stopped, shock to see the blood that ran down his arm coming from his wrist. I ran over to him shaking him trying frantically to wake him up. He must have lost to much blood. In a panic daze, I heard a fireman come closer, but the roof started to cave in. It fell as I screamed holding my arms up over my head, It fell on my left arm as I screamed out in pain.

The man lifted up the fallen wood that was on top of us. Then two others came in and one grabbed me, and the other Lavi. I couldn't feel my arm and when I looked back at Lavi his right eyes was all bloody. The roof must have damaged it. I felt myself slowly getting tried and I fell asleep as the fireman carried me out of the burning house. * * * I woke up to the sound of beeping. It was a heart machine, but it wasn't hooked up to me, it was hooked up to Lavi. I stared at the lifeless boy as he laid there motionless. No. He can't die. Tears began to fall down my face as I reached my arm out to him. My arm hurt and I looked down to see bandages wrapped all around it, and my fingers were burned and were bright red. I stared at them until I heard something move, I quickly glanced up to see Lavi starring at me. One eye covered with a bandage and his other emerald green eye stared at me."Allen?" his voice was low and raspy. It didn't sound like Lavi. I sat up straight In bed and got up. I walked over towards him with my Iv Pole and air tank. "Yes Lavi?" Tears poured down my face as I looked at him."what happened to you?" He asked looking at my arm."Your house was on fire and I went in to save you. The roof caved in on us, and the fire burned my arm and the wood hit your eye". Tears started to pour out of my eyes. I was so happy that he is alive. He lifted his hand and set it on top of my head. He smoothed out my hair trying to calm me down."Stupid Allen" he laughed hoarsely. I looked up at him to see a single tear rolling down his cheek. His smile slowly disappeared as he looked into my silver eyes."Allen, I'm so sorry". His voice cracked at the words. "But Allen, why would you do that?" Lavi questioned staring deeply into my eyes. I swallowed hard and I looked away. I have to tell him. I have to tell him that I loved him. I turned back to face the red-head teen. I loved him ever since I first met him back in middle school. - Three Years Ago - "Class I'd like to introduce a new student. He skipped a grade, so he is a year younger than all of you, so be polite to him." I heard the teacher say as I waited out in the hall. I was nervously shuffling my feet when she came to the door and smiled at me. I walked in as all eyes where on me I swallowed and took in a deep breath. "My name is Allen Walker" I said as I wrote my name on the board. I looked at them nervously not knowing what next to say. Someone in the back snickered and I put my head down to stare at my feet. The teacher came up to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Allen has transferred here from England, and his father is the famous novelist, Mana Walker". She said sweetly to my new classmates. I sighed, thankfully that Miss Lotto was a very kind woman. "Allen, your seat will be in the back next to Lavi". I walked back to my seat when someone stuck their foot out causing me to trip making my books fly out of my hands. I fell face first to the floor, as everyone in the room started to laugh at me. Except one. The red-headed boy stood up with an anger written all over his face. "You all should be ashamed of yourselves!" He yelled making everyone stop laughing. The room went silent, he walked over and started to pick up my books. "Hi, my name is Lavi Bookman. He smiled. His smile. It struck me as it glistened in the light. He emerald green eyes that glimmered as well. He was beautiful, and yet he seemed unreal to me. It was like love at first sight. I was captivated. It was like love at first sight. I was lost in his smile."Ahh, are you alright Allen?" He said breaking me out of my daze. "Oh, umm, yea" I blushed looking down trying to hide it. He stood up taking my hand. His hand was warm and comforting. It was nice. While this happened the teacher had taken the boy who had tripped me, out into the the hall to yell at him. I sat at my desk thinking to myself. '_Maybe it won't be so bad here after all'._ I looked at Lavi as he smiled again, striking me in the heart. Yes. I will like it here. * * * Right Now, I need to let him know. "Lavi I-" I was interrupted by the doctor walking into our room. "Allen what are you doing out of bed?" The doctor looked at me. I tried to force a smile, but it didn't show on my face. "You should be in bed, now get in bed", he said. I sighed looking at Lavi and then dragging my feet across the floor and got into the uncomfortable bed. I closed my eyes, thinking. The doctor checked Lavi's heart machine and everything seemed okay. He left and then it was just us in the room with each other. "Allen, what where you going to say before doctor Krowry interrupted?" Lavi's voice pierced though as I sighed. I turned on my side to look at him. He looked to broken, and beaten. Should I tell him the truth? Or would it just be a mistake? I knew I had to do it, I had to tell him. "I LOVE YOU!" I blurted out the words, yelling them at him. I bit my lip and turned to face the other wall, trying on to lean on my arm. That did no go as planed I held back the tears that threatened to fall down my face. I just couldn't believe I had just yelled that at him. "I love you too" My heart stopped, as turned back to face him. His face had a serious expression all over it. I blinked at him, shocked. I could remember how to speak. "Allen, I have something to confess to you" Lavi said calmly and quietly. I nodded, still not being able to talk. "I have loved you ever since the first day you came to our school. Ever since that boy had tripped you, and when I first looked into your eyes". My mouth dropped open, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Lavi. Loves. Me. I sat up again, walking over to him with my air tank, and Iv pole. I bent down and hugged him. I hugged him so tightly holding on to the person I almost lost. We stayed like that for a few minutes. In our blissful moment of happiness. * * * **A/N – A happy ending to another chapter. R&R. =3**


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